


Voicemail received

by NicePlaceToBe



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:55:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePlaceToBe/pseuds/NicePlaceToBe
Summary: If Chloe had stayed away just a little bit longer at the start of Season 4, would Lucifer still have been waiting for her?Or:Lucifer goes home early, but he couldn't leave without saying goodbye
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	Voicemail received

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty self-indulgent because I have Feelings™ about Lucifer being left alone after Chloe found out and then the lowkey angst just happened. I'm still new to writing fanfiction so let me know what you think!
> 
> The starting lines are from Adele's 'Hello'
> 
> I own nothing you recognise, I'm merely a humble scribe

“Hello from the other side. I must have called a thousand times to tell you I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, but when I call you never seem to be home. I don’t really know where to start to be honest. Maybe I should apologise for not telling you who I was. Or for not knowing how to even begin a conversation that won’t end in screaming and tears- never the happy kind. I could tell you I’m sorry that everything I touch turns to ashes, but I think we both enjoyed the fire. Funny how everything I touch goes up in flames but this is the first time I’ve been burned. 

I think I always knew you would be my undoing, my dear Detective- but what more can I say than perhaps I was ready to be undone. For someone to see all the gritty parts between the mirrors and smoke-screen of my personality, always directing the attention back to them, never shedding light on the grimy corners of my identity. So for what it’s worth, thank you. But it hurts more than a little to know that for everything I forgave in you- though you know you’ve never needed forgiving for the faults that are only human- you couldn’t forgive in me; perhaps because you never saw me as human. 

I didn’t call to make you feel bad. I don’t even really want you to hear this message. I guess this is a list of my confessions I never said, everything you and I have to answer for. So let me tell you a story. 

Once upon a time (because that’s how all stories should start, even if they are more like nightmares than fairytales), there was a boy named Lucifer and he lived in a big house they called Heaven. Nothing ever changed up there, it was laughter and happiness until it wasn’t. His father decided work was more important than family, everything inside the house fell to the mother (tale as old as time right?). So the neglected Lucifer acted out; there was a rebellion. He almost won- but not quite. His father was enraged, so he set him up. Lucifer was cast out of Heaven- the fallen angel that fell so far he reached the bottom. To be forever blamed for humanity’s sins, the pariah they wheeled out whenever something went wrong- because it could never be them, this darkness inside couldn’t be theirs. 

They say ‘The holiest have the furthest to fall’. From victor to villian in barely an eyeblink- I must have been the holiest of them all. Not that anyone ever cared. Not that anyone has ever listened. Not once in 2000 years has anyone prayed for the devil. Who would though? Winners write the history books- in my case, the victor quite literally wrote history. Nevermind that though, wounds a millenia old have time to heal. Those that get re-hashed every sermon, less so. 

Can you imagine being thought of as the embodiment of evil for eternity? It doesn’t exactly do wonders for your self-esteem, let me tell you. You lose a bit of yourself, a little bit of you dies at every ounce of pure hate until you become what everyone expects. 

That’s why I decided to take a bit of a permanent vacation. I figure Hell can deal with itself for a bit, at least long enough for me to get a handle on my existential crisis (how strange you humans have a term for it- like it happens often enough that you’d need it. Your lifespans are literally miniscule compared to mine. What are you even worried about? Anything seriously bad that happens is all censored and dealt with by the Almighty). 

When I met you I think I was reminded of who I really was- the justice for all, punishment for the guilty. We had a good run, didn’t we? We were friends- I know you changed me for the better- I wish I could say the same about myself for you. I loved you more than I knew how to say, so I didn’t. I knew you didn’t (don’t) reciprocate- that’s always been more than fine. I would like to point out that I never lied to you (to anyone, it’s a point of personal pride). I did say that I was the Devil. I did try to tell you again, more than once, but you didn’t want to hear it. Maybe I should have tried harder, but it was nice to not be the Devil, just Lucifer. 

I shouldn’t have been surprised when you didn’t want to keep being friends (I got too hopeful). It shouldn’t have hurt when you flinched away from me, wouldn’t hold my gaze or told me you never wanted to see me again.

(I can’t die from being stabbed unless I’m near you, but I can imagine it feels something like the ice-shard smashed into my heart and the pit of despair in my stomach, all the tears that burned in my eyes)

You are an angel, in the purest sense of the word. Why would you want my darkness to taint your light? 

I’m sorry for the way everything went down with us, though it takes two to fight. I’ve been the scapegoat for everything that ever went wrong, so it’s a nice change to share some of the blame. That’s not important anymore though. 

I’m back where I came from, literally in Hell, on the other side of the dead. So I guess, hello from the other side. I must have called a thousand times. This is my last one though. Time to let the ashes go, now the fire has raged on. So goodbye I guess. Forever."

"Message received at 9:48. Press 1 to-" 

"Message deleted."


End file.
